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Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Mmmm today i am in a much better mood today, thats why i am blogging again.. otherwise you will see another depressing blog... which can be rather disturbing actually... i can see the hands raising up...
Well, for the past few days... i think those who are with me, you can see, can feel and know that actually i was in a horrible and terrible state... well... the dark clouds are slowly moving away now... i, till now, still do not exactly know the root of this problem... but definitely i know the factors for this period of dryness... i would be frank... i havent been clinging to God very tightly, in fact, i am so much caught up by work, disappointments, worries, especially fears... that yes He is there, but i am just too blind and deafen to see or hear Him...
since last friday.. well, my dear princess went for her ODAC camp... yeah from she first start camp, my heart it flew over with her... pondering how she's doing, i was worried... well, the walls are dangerous, the activities are dangerous... i really dont want my princess to get hurt... of course during my time of worries... i also did considered that at the end i might not be the only one worrying, i suppose her boyfriend will too... its really pathetic to know that, thats the princess you love, yet she's not yours but of another... but at times, its life... i have grown to accept it... seeing her smiles, her joy, she's safe and protected... well, at least for now, thats really sufficient... i dont dare to say theres a future, cause i really, dont know if there is... but yesterday she has break camp... Hey hey... hahaha and today, i saw her again... with the smiles and joy... hahaha... nice... serious... yesterday morning, the very first message which brighten my day was.. "ya, just break camp..." wow just that my heart lighten... my heart settle down.. and i started concentrating on my work again... oh yes, also, forthe past few days, my work performance have been downright..MMmmmmmmm.. but glad the message came before amanda hahaha.. otherwise i think the west 6 movie will never been done... who knows i might wreck my computer out of frustration... Hahaha but at least by now, the movie is at least 1/3 done.. i aim to finish by tomorrow.. aiming... at least got an aim...
Mmmmm the other really great thing is, not investiture yet, i have a great chat with dear kor tonight, well haha, it ended up quite short as first, he was tired, next i was a little busy, then i also forgot quite a bit on what i wanted to talk to him... haha but at least i got the the important things which i want to find out from him... yup... at least i have a clearer picture of what things really were, haha, that ends my worries i guess... at times, i think i am really over sensitive, oh God, moderate me... ahha a while over work, became workaholic, than oversensitive, turning towards depression... alright i seriously dont know what i am doing... but i am sure glad that i am still of a sound mind...
From that great chat, i now know, where i stand and i know whats the level of my relationship with kor... mmmm very pleasing to hear it, its very positive... which means that i worried for nothing haha.. though its not very obvious, but its there... i am too sight oriented person, dont see it, dont believe it... no wonder i am a science student... and its really nice to hear that, its not just one sided, but mutually we are able to share with one another without restriction, that is great, especially if we want to go deeper, and kor, i am sure u know i want... i am putting all my heart and soul into building this 'brothership'... when i really want to love, i put in my all just to love, just to care... how many all do i have, many many all... thus who says when i love my brother i cant love my princess... at least i can...
Mmm investiture meetin was also fun but also shocking... obviously... it started with welfare to cca to marcom... well haha, at first when i didnt got welfare chariperson, i was like Mmmm expected.. and i was expecting dawn to get it.. but no its PJ ... i was like HUHUHUHUHUH .... but its still alright... i felt she still do have the calibre... and anyway my princess got vice chairperson, so it still sort of balanced... siying, poor girl, marcom chairperson, mr gomezzzz.... he is reallt suitable for addam's family.. but Siying, you can make it, serious, working with you have been real great and you really can make it... alright, talk so much like as if she will get to see my blog...then cca chair YI HAO... thats another HUHUHUHUHUHUHUH... not that he is no good, in fact he is so good, we were expecting him to have higher position, rather than that piece of wood... sorry, but seriously, i am happy with every ranks except one... i am happy for all the rest and they really deserve it, yes, perhaps i may or may not really like them, but i still willing to give them full respect, because they have earn it... but that wood.... instead of respect... he invoked only suspicions... he as a vice president.. Mmmm i seriously want to see how is he going to earn our respect, now that actually he din have any... everyone just keeping to our promise of working together despite all differences... some of us, we really work together and really, we bond well... but for some... sigh... hopeless... but anyway... for what i have promise.. i will keep it, but seriously, my trust is one thing that is very very very hard to earn its either you have or you dont have... anyway... lets see how he work... i shant comment more on that...
I am really glad everything move on well, i pray that tomorrow even in every single day, my life will start improving, and more efficent and better... hopefully the desires of my heart will be blessed...
Anyway, i am very very very very tired... Oyasuminasai!!!
Remembering On|6/08/2004 12:28:00 AM|
Hmmm, the Sun is rising again...
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