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Tuesday, June 22, 2004
19 June 2004
Yup from that title i think some would have understand what i meant... indeed the empire is going through a period of Dark Age... many things havent been going very smooth for me... low self esteem... jealousy... anger... agony... irony... contradiction... pain... depression... i really must say... by hearing this.. the empire seem to be falling anytime... but no.. i will not let it falls... as long as i have my breath.. it will not fall... as long as God lives... the empire will go on... yet it takes time for the prince to re orientate himself...
Well, indeed what can really actually bother the prince to such extreme??? Obviously, its definitely the princess and the people he loves, not forgetting, his work also do affects him greatly...
First, princess... Mmmmm... well the prince for a period of time didnt really talk to the princess... even if they talk, its not even a paragragh... but few words.... and the prince noted something... when the princess is with the other people.... she is like so close with them but what about when she is with the prince... actually quite foreign... they practically are like nothing but mere acquaintance... thats what upsets him... whats more upseting was when princess actually said that she would rather be a friend than a sis... to others this is just a small thing, but to the pessismistic prince... this is great issue... the prince didnt have much confidence that he will be together with her one day... and he thought, perhaps a sister... that will still be great.. but he is rejected... rejected not just as a stead... but also a brother... what impact that had created... well... i mean the prince is not such an unreasonable person also... he can understand somethings just cant be forced.. you have it, you have it, but if you dont.. its just too bad...its a cold hard truth of life... but at least in his heart he hope to see that princess is happy and cheerful, protected and safe... yet he also noted that the princess is very close to someone, lets name him lucius... and kor i tell u this lucius is one lucius you wun like.. he not the type you seen on big screen... the prince himself when was placed with lucius, he felt very unsecure... there is no sense of security at all... and naturally when he saw that his princess with getting into good terms with lucius.. he worries... he is very worried... yet he dont know shld he do anything about it... its like invading into the princess's private space... so he just keep an eye on them... just to make sure she is safe... quite hard time seriously... i mean you can see it, seriously.. when the princess is with one of the prince's royal family or noble friends, he has no worries, and just say go and enjoy yourself... but when she is with lucius... he will try to avoid letting them alone... seriously till now, the prince is still very repulsive towards lucius... he just cant accept him... also the prince is constantly reminded by his 'frenz' that he has no chance to bewith princess... you know, its really heartaching to know this fact... yet its tormenting to hear it repeatedly on his ears... some of the prince noble friends actually told him to look at someone else, change a target.. he thought, perhaps, he saw another noble lady... she is pretty, character wise good, academic Mmmm gd infact better than me... but so what... only at this point the prince noticed... he didnt go for all these.... he said these are the criteria... but he found that nope, its not... if its the criteria, he wld have gone for this noble lady... but he didnt...he just felt that something is not there... something very impt... and that is the type of feelings... to that noble lady, yes the prince is very nice to her.. care for her quite a lot... but at the end of the day, the prince felt no where furthur than just a brotherly love for her... nothing more... but for the princess, the prince, not just love her.. but also just got bedazzled... he just can feel that sense of 'like'... the princess to the prince, no matter what is not just a sister... its more than that... but well... like Xavier, the prince till now still waiting for that something... he too still see that something, and he is waiting for it to come... and that is hope....
What about the people he love... i mean on the first instance you know i am going to talk about prince silvest... well... i shld say till now, me and him are in good terms and getting closer... In my heart... of course i really must say... he holds a high position, in fact highest... Prince silvest to me, is really a brother, not a buddy, not a pal, but really like a blood tie brother... but of course ... i know... to him... i am still a friend... a pal... at most a buddy... yup... how do i know... well... thats hard to explain but seriously can be felt and seen...
Also brother chee chang... i was just thinking... i am truly blessed to have known 2 brothers, silvest and chang... i am even more blessed to be able to go deeper with silvest... but for chang... oh gosh... i am not even deep with him... sometimes, i am really upset by it... how i wish i can be deep with both my brother... i am not blessed with 2 brothers for nothing...i am blessed with both to love them all... yet for one, i really dont know how to go deeper with him, cept just pray for him....
Sigh... with all the things in my heart... i still carry on working, i have to, i cant just leave my things just like that... i have to go on... but over at metta... well, many things i am pissed at... and in the past i tend to just forgive and forget bout it, but this time... my heart is already filled so much things.... i dun have an outlet for it to flow out... so i flared... todae was actually worse... today i didnt flared... i have severe headache... believe it a not... i thank God that He arranged for me to sell ice... alrite some may say i am slacking, but i am not ... and for that i can face the heavens with full confidence... but its like, not trying to discriminate anything.... i am alrite with a fundraising for a buddhist organisation... but do you have to go to the extreme of majority vegetarian food... and everywhere buddhist scripture and those chanting music... i really have headache hearing them... but thank God, ice stall is away from the tents... i get to stay a distance.. otherwise wonder what is left of my brains...
on the very whole, i am recovering.. i am soon back to norm... as for bro silvest... regardless what, i just love this bro... theres no perfection... and in fact, the fact that i love... i will certainly get hurt at times... but theres nth i grudge about or is displeased bout the relationship btw me and kor, cept that i believe we can go deeper.. and i hope we would go the depth as time passes...
Remembering On|6/22/2004 06:28:00 PM|
The "Tempest-ing" ....
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