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Friday, October 15, 2004
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Mmmm... todae... boring dae... the only interesting thing was that tonite was blue moon... the prince played computer games... WOW.... thats weird... isnt it... alrite, first i was searching through the piles of CDs i have... i found one jedi knight II: outcast... apparently my cousin had gave me but i somewhat dump it aside, as u all know i dont have much liking for computer games... but since some say i am not living, in fact i am dead... coz that kind of life is not living... alrite i try and see hows that kind of 'living' life... i installed it... at stage one... play for not even like 3/4 of the stage i got kind of stuck... then i struggle struggle and struggle... but i still got stuck in that same elevator thing... somewhat its either the game playing a trick on me or i juz duno how to play...after several hours... i juz quit the program... nxt uninstall it.. and say sayonara to that disc and dump it with the other CDs in the rack.. cant be bothered to touch it again... horrendous! i rather go back to my 'dead' life... perhaps theories are my kind of game... i rather go trekking or tennis with my close frenz... than to spend time on something that stupid... not being offensive... but i seriously have not much of a liking for computer games... its dumb!
Anyway... theres something i am very happy and glad about, that is wow Dawn went to rest early today... it has been my long hope she would go and have an early rest than having to be awake from morning to 'morning'... seriously, even a robot will malfunction under such circumstance, what more a dear girl like her... we are after all flesh and bones... definitely much more fragile than mere metals... great! but that brought to my mind my few brother and sisters... aww miss them a whole lot! its the holidae season, moreover i am so busy... we barely had some rare meetings... silvest, chang, yihao, gabriel, weijie, vivien, hannah, rachel, siying, and more but those i named are those i am really more in contact with and certainly much closer to... as u can see some of them are having their A's wat can i do but to send some msgs to push them on??? teach them?? nah i need to be taught in my jc1 what more jc 2... but i did have some rather nice time with hannah, rachel and siying though... hha oh ya went for the art exhibition... WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW terrific!!! marvellous!! many of u odd to go for it man!!! i saw some of the paintings... i juz went WOW!!! the shadings were awesome... how i wish i could shade like that... but of coz i am born more of a science than arts, though i do have some artistic blood in me ...
oh yes, one of my juniors was telling me that my blog, somehow always seem to be dark.. always like black...oh yes that very true... notice my blog is always black blue or white... and its in descending order... thats cause i love black most, next blue, and last but not least white... haha i found black very cool, blue royal like, suit me huh haha, white pure... awww haha so i like my blog, coz its filled with all the colours i love... btw that music u're hearing now is power of your love enjoy...
Alrite thats all for today... its another tale for another day...
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Remembering On|10/15/2004 10:33:00 PM|
Thursday, October 14, 2004
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Mmmm for the past few daes... Mmmm didnt know what to blog... moreover i was busy with something and didnt have the time to blog either.. i mean for those who knows the prince... a workaholic... life's getting quite monotone though...
well for the past few daes rather weeks... i am quite worried bout some results, mine is GP, but i am more worried bout Dawn... Really hope and pray that she will pull through this period and i know she will somehow, by faith i know she will... even scrapping through is gladly accepted as long as she pull it through... somethings are common fact... somethings we all know its near impossible... yet i still wish not to see her in her gloom... pretty heartaching.. that i must admit... i do not aim or ask for anything, but juz that she would stay cheerful, optimistic and smile... i am sure most of u know i rather not be with her, than having to be with her, and bring to her nth but misery... however Dawn's not the only one.. hahaha... well, also gabriel... he's another worry, but certainly glad to see his smiles, but i know i know in his heart, he does have many worries... but with everybody's help, believed he will pull through too... Gab, let the weak say i am strong... let the poor say i am rich... let the blind say i can see... you must be promoted!!! i didnt have much of a worry bout weijie and yihao... both of them seem to be doing rather fine in this promos... haha great job, dear brothers.. and of course how could we forget siying haha.. she is a consistent one... seriously, if she is in trouble.. then what am i...
Well, now that the j1 promos are over, theres a second war coming, thats the j2s...A levels are coming... seems like war never ends... haha... A's are juz round the corner but some are suffering from academphobia... some anxiety... especially for my dear academphobic bro, pls... take it as i beg u... wake up and study..... the other few, can see them working very hard... which is very good haha keep it up!!! hahah wll pray for you all...
Remember siblings...
"... Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit..." - Zechariah 4:6
I love you all!!!
WE WILL SURVIVE!!! HAVE FAITH!!!
Remembering On|10/14/2004 08:24:00 PM|
Saturday, October 02, 2004
Hmmm... well, well... as i was browsing through the blogs, something caught my eyes... and i pondered on it for a moment... Mmm... seriously one should never sin, once you are stained with sin, you are stained with sin... Though in Christ you're cleansed, but sometimes i really think the only time its really cleansed is when we all are in our glorified self... somethings which i done long ago, well, it juz return to haunt me... yes back then i agree, i was an arrogant brat... successful, influential... but still a proud arrogant brat... i think the one thing that really can be praised bout me is juz how i play with politics and how impartial i am... so impartial that i gave no face nor mercy... so is that gd... Mmmmm.... i wonder... but i guess whatever it is, it had more or less molded me to become who i am today... well, yes even back then my studies isnt that bad... and i associated alot with people whom i back then was known as " same standard"... moreover i was very much a loner... i juz dont like crowds... when i started to move out of it, its still part of me of course, i mean who can change overnight... i do not very much know how to communicate with other... back then people told me perhaps go down to their level... Mmm easy to say, hard to do it... you will understand wat i meant if u ever were in such situation... hearing this how horrible aint i??? Thats once me... especially when i was in sec 1... but as i grow, well, when coming to the end of my first year... Somewhat somehow... i grown... Then i realised how cold i was... so much for "social class" its time to walk out of it... I think it have to do with vision... i got a desire which suddenly juz burns in me... That is to have passion for people... To my juniors i tried to be more patient, and more understanding, but still i am who i am.. though not completely but theres still these spots that juz wouldnt wear out... but truthfully, i wasnt very used to it... normally, i need not repeat myself... but this time i had to... i am sure the few juniors who worked with me almost day to nite everydae will understand... it pays for me to repeat... wow... but in this time, yes i am quite harsh to some of them... but at the end of the day, they learn discipline and those who are around me, they learn quite abit too... i think that is one thing i am proud of as a leader back then... at least these lessons are still in my juniors till this day... i am very happy for them, but i also caution them to use the skills and lessons well, and not to walk in my footstep... the skills and lessons are good pure and precious its how we apply it that makes it evil... anyway... then i met this girl.. 2 years younger than me... well, a very nice gal... haha i am seeing some eyes looking like as if i like her... guys, nope, i dun really go for gals younger or older than me... well, she is rather weak in science... chemical equations... well... yup, one dae she have problems with it... as a gd senior, alrite, i help... then i taught her... she still dont understnad... nvm, again i repeated... and again... by the 4th time, i juz made this to me back then casual remark, which changed everything... till todae i can still remember it all.. i juz told her... " ... my my... why are u so stupid... come on focus..." apparently it blurt out... to me i dont feel much, but it hurt her... and from then things changed... a friendship was broken... then some others whom i have offended start coming to me too... i just felt like shutting myself from the world... bur still i stood still... many things are still standing cause i stand... i cant be that selfish and irresponsible to juz let everything, everybody fall... but i realise how much the friendship with that gal meant to me... i tried to hold on tighter and tighter but it juz slipped... its like i gripping sand in my hand... but from this, i learnt not to use some words... and arrogance really has to go... however... theres this peer who i didnt even know i did hurt... but still i did, and this peer to this day, i must say, she still holds it to heart... i can see it... most of the rest have forgiven me... my juniors have understood why i did somethings and in fact i am thankful i had did those cause, todae many of them under such harsh condition have grown independence and is able to stand till todae... blessed are they, Thank God! but i guess till this day,this peer of mine, she still find that i sux, and yup, i do... i will always do, till the day u make me not...
but all those are my history... somethings i didnt want to drag up, but then it juz came, and i thought well, whats there to hide, i really was once that, face it... but i am glad, being in JJ all these months... well, i hope i have changed... and certainly the one thing that really had, is that i learnt wats loving someone... i am no longer as cold as i used to be... i am trying to be more encouraging, but i know at times, i discourage more than i encourage... really sorry bout that... I once used to be naggy to my juniors haha till this day i am still the same haha... but the difference is i am naggy with more love and more concern for them... no longer for prestige... power, prestige.. all these which i once treasured... now became nothing but juz one that is being step on the ground... i started to take pride in the success of others... seeing the joy, seeing the excellence in them, is all that brings joy to my heart... I was actually quite hesitant when i first thought of helping bro yihao and weijie in their studies, i treasure them alot and i love my bros alot... i dont want history to repeat itself... but i juz wasnt confident of teaching... but i still did somehow... thats y actually i agree with apple, i am indeed not patient enough... but i will work on that... i still dont reckon myself anywhere near teacher... still far from it... i am still quite fidgety when come to interacting with people, coz i really do have the fear that i may hurt them... especially the few whom i really cared and love for.... a mere 6 years... so much changes... from an arrogant brat to what i am todae... power and prestige have lost their strength... but love and peace have brought me light... and with that... The prince's heart is filled with content...
Remembering On|10/02/2004 07:34:00 PM|
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Hmmm... What should i say??? Should there be joy, or should there be sadness???
Yesterday was quite a hectic one, with general paper followed by Biology, Hmmm... getting my degree indeed isnt easy... well, all things were fine, but isnt good at all... but the gp paper alone proved one thing, this prince here isnt one who is pro death... facing questions on death penalty, i juz go, my my... at times i do wonder, all along people often told us to stay positive but sometimes, i can understand, it isnt us who wants to be pessimistic, at least not at the first instance... just look at the gp paper.. come on, no wonder students are becoming morbid... death penalty, how far do you expect scientist to solve all problems... wow...
Biology wasnt that bad, actually the questions isnt hard at all, but theres simply too many questions... This time i am faster... but i am still slow for the paper... i barely had enough time to pull it through... But well, whatever it is i leave it to the Most High... i mean what can i do now...
For myself, you can still see all the smiles and laughter on my face... i still have the joy and peace in me... but seriously, i am also at the same time sad... not because of my papers, nor is it due to my performance, but because, i no longer saw the smiles on the faces of those whom i love... one by one, their smiles are juz wiped off their face... i juz felt so heartache, but what can i do??? I am not God, i cant turn their feelings around... Bro Weijie, well, can see that he really tried and work for it... but after gp, well, smiles ya, but that smile is no longer the same as it was then... Dawn... how i wish to see her beautiful radiant smile once again... its been daes since i last saw it... Even for the J2s... look at bro Silvest, during the whole prelim period, any word pertaining to academic should be censored and worse still, he himself censor it away.. his academphobia is getting worse... sis Vivien, full of anxiety.. Mmm... ya, really heartache seeing them like this... sometimes i really hope i can do something to help them... I guess bro chee chang is the best haha.. he's still in the mood for soccer... but i guess its gd also... with smiles almost the whole battle is won...
To you all whom i love...
Hey, dont give up, keep on keeping on... you will reach the light soon... in all things,in all times, stand firm... Keep that hope that you have, bring it higher... In this trying times, what is the best fuel??? Hope, Cheerfulness.. The papers i agree do make us somewhat morbid, but dont be influenced by it, but influence it...I know you all can do it... You are doing fine... Always have the peace and joy in your heart... I love you all...
"... I love the hope, I see in your eyes
For you I would fly, at least I would try
For you I'll take, the last flight out ... "
Yup... Anytime, if you really need help, its juz a call away...
Remembering On|10/02/2004 07:01:00 PM|
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