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Saturday, August 27, 2005
well... back to the silent days... rather, i have not really walk out it at all... Get wat i mean?? i cant be back when i never was out before.... Am i bored of such days... very, but what can i do?? actually nothing much... moreover this is the period... 68 days the most crucial days... what can i do... even if i want to go out, i m still alone out, so whats so buzzing about that, equally as silent... Sigh... Oh well... Life's like that i guess... at least mine's like that... a silent world with occasion asteroids which really warms up the temperate land(sometimes winter)... those times were really great... but pretty short lived... sigh... More asteriods please...
Remembering On|8/27/2005 01:07:00 PM|
Friday, August 26, 2005
Legally 18...
Well well, today, should i say its a special day or what?? actually not that special a day... life still as per norm, work, home, work, sleep, so whats so special about it...
But well,todae once again the position that Dre,Dawn and Yihao in my life is reaffirmed... they really mean alot to me... well, today how i hope i get to spend time with them... just have a really solid time together.. but i understand perfectly, all the constraints... in the first place, i doubt they even remember anything about today...
Should i say at least for Dawn, she remembered, but she played that hope i would be the last to wish game, and haha i kind of thought she has forgottened, but she hasnt, thanks dear! thanks for not forgetting haha...
I think the one thing that i m most sadden about is that, i didnt get to even see Dre today.. Dear, where have u disappeared... I mean i would be so happy at least to see him... but sigh... i didnt manage to... totally not even the sigh of him... sigh... well alright i m a indeed a bit disappointed... i was wishing that i cld at least see you... but well... its alrite... yup yup, juz that i really hope to be with my dear ones on this day...
Yihao... haha... Dear sorry arh, but erm i kind of expect you would forget... haha... not saying that u are not caring at all or what, just that erm haha just dun really seem like u to remember dates to start with ahha... but that hug is enough... really... i appreciate it... no money can buy it... i think simply havin the heart is all it takes, its really enough... yup!!
Dears... oh btw dears dont have to be my stead for those who are first time to my blog... the 3 of them, none of them are not my stead... haha of coz the later 2 are obvious, the first is also not... they are just my dear siblings whom i so so so so so love... yup yup... they are the greatest bunch of people you would ever find...
Also not forgetting a group of people who had not forgotten about today... my clique, Yvvone, Suxian, Mavis, Hseuh Yun and Sze Hui... Can i say them genius or what haha... hey girls, you all picked the right stuff man haha... a Parker fountain pen... but the only thing is... its so nice, how do you expect me to use it... the ink i think is quite wasted now ahha... cause i am not going to use the pen, i am going to preserve it... haha... i shall go find some fomalin... just kidding... it will stay in the box for preservation... haha thanks pep!!!
And one person, i seemed to have neglected... Gab... Well, though i didnt really mention about him as i did for the 3 above, but does not mean i dont care... compared to many ordinary, he is one i care for a lot too...Far more than ordinary but can i say, the time i had with the 3 above kind of build our relationship even stronger... not that i dun love gab, but juz that through time and encounters, i got to know the 3 of them even deeper and love for them also kind of deeper??? yup... but really Gab, thanks for remembering... i really didnt expect you would.... actually not like i expect anyone would... yup...
Remembering On|8/26/2005 11:32:00 PM|
Friday, August 19, 2005
Alrite... seriously quite guilty today ahha... well i must admit, with all the days of work, i m starting to be tired...
Reached home after all the lessons and consultations... changed and had my lunch.. i opened up my math bk... and slept... hahaa... cant lift my eyelid any longer... for once in days and wks... got quite a gd rest... i slept so soundly that i didnt even know my hp rang... when i woke up... OOo Dawn called... well she had also msged me... then i looked at the msg... oh she had some chem questions to clarify bt she cldnt get me... gosh felt quite bad actually... just when she needed some clarification i was asleep... but well, what can i do, i guess i m simply too tired... but well does feel quite bad not being able to help her just now...
She told me she's quite stressed, i guess we are all now... especially when we are still not very prepared... like me, well i believe by prelims at least for chem, math and gp, i would quite prepared, not fully but at least there... but bio Hmm... lets just say i pray i hope... its still something that bothers me... i need to acquire the skills fast... really.. and get the facts deeply engrave in my mind... yup yup...
BUt But But i m not giving up... i will fight on, have the spirit of excellence yet be thankful with what i m given for there is certainly a reason for being given those grades i have... its not mourning over midyrs or mourning over my unpreparedness, but be joyous that i realised the abyss that i may not fall into it again... its not the end yet and it will not be the end... i will rise on eagle's wing...
Remembering On|8/19/2005 11:36:00 PM|
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
This song by Delirious... Majesty(Here I am)...
I cant help but to be touched by the song...
Emotions just ran through...
Today's quite a fine day, i am really glad i got to catch up with some people... these daes i m always catching my paper not people... but today i managed to once again talk to my dear big brother who is now in army... haha Really glad to hear that Chang is doing well... He's juz back from taiwan, coincidently Dn Raj was mentioning about how polluted that place was... haha poluted in the sense that there are lots of temptations there, nightclubs and what have you... but haha i am so glad and so proud of my big bro here.. always as upright and righteous in the Lord... At first he told me that the tour guide didnt bring them to those areas... and you all know me haha always as playful, i juz kid with him asking, " so? sign of relief or disappointment?" and of course he chose relief... haha he is so happy that they were not brought to those areas... and i am so glad too... Thank God! haha... had a nice chat with him after like weeks since i last got to chat with him... haha...
Haha, also today something striked me... Out of sudden, i felt i m actually quite blessed haha.. i have all 'sorts' of pple around me... rather all walks of life around me... i have frenz who are preparing to live in some mountains in tibet, some businesswoman who dun really know how to even start a business haha... then erm... entrepreneur to be who keeps day to nite thinking of being a millionaire.... wat else... oh a dietician, who nv stop nagging me to eat healthy food and less meat.... civil defence madame... policewoman... taekwondo instructor... housewife... tai tai... boss of contractor company... oh also jay chou wannabe... chinese teacher... cant remb wat else ahaha...
What about my bros and sis?? i have bros who preparing to be pilot, commandos, policeman, journalist(i believe he is going to be a great one, his writings are WOW ahha if you would charismatic), doctor... sis who are wants to be researcher, occupation therapist or watever u call that haha... lawyer and even one who is currently still hanging in mid air....
Well just when i hope the night would be filled with more great news... well alright i got a 'great' news... great bt not in the positive sense... its about my juniors... though i often scolded them when they were younger and these days though i no longer scold, not so gd for my blood pressure ahha... but i still nag a lot... you guys know i do care quite a bit for my juniors... well, Jason resigned from council... of coz i hope the best for my juniors and best if all rise up as leaders... i m glad xiuming is in nj and now sinkuan in jj... Jason may have resigned, but i only have this to say, resigned or not, he is still my junior, doesnt mean that cause he is not in council he is not my junior, he still is and will stay as one... he may not be recognised as a leader in council, but he has to pick up from where he had fallen, and move on... no big deal losing the title in council... not all leaders are recognised by ranks or titles, he has his life to live... he has the power to choose to be a leader of his life, or to be a follower of crowds... theres so much i can say, its up to him to choose...
Another thing came to my mind... thats having to complete my council term... if one should ask me, do you consider yourself to have serve well?? i would say no... i m not really such a good councillor... in fact, very much i failed as one... i seriously have been thinking, as a councillor for 1 yr, what have i done for the students?? apparently nothing... so what have i been doing all these while?? actually, i have no idea... talking about getting that award in speech day??? haha well i dont even have the slightest thought of it... in fact i am not even pinning of getting that award, cause i already had gottened mine... i have not been such a great team player... and quite a reformist, a rebel haha... haha always going for reforms in everywhere i go... but i have got the best award i could ever have... through these council term... i m blessed with such 2 great and dear bros, Andre and Chang... and also one i cant possibly forget rite haha dear Dawn haha... these blessings are like some of the best award i can ever receive haha... Apart from th 3 what about yihao and gab?? well they are very dear too... haha but well somehow we didnt really went deeper... we seldom talk to each other... but sometimes haha quite interesting some people can be dear to someone else without having to do much... what about the rest??? do i not care??? Nah hahah if i list all... this entry will never end haha... so of course i list only the apex... Actually yester-nite, well i have been reflecting about something too... talking about my life being smooth sailing... Nah not a single bit... but if i have not, will i be appreciative of what i have??? i am quite surprise myself with what i said hahaa.. i suddenly was inspired with this phrase... If theres no sin, do we know whats grace?? indeed... scenes from the documentary Hiroshima still lingers in my mind... the scene of the soldier vaporised by the heat created by the A-bomb... its really so brutal, so cruel... almost cried seeing those pple crawling, burnt... sometimes i wonder is there such a need for a war... those pple were just civilians... but for their leaders error, they paid their lives... some dont even get to be buried, they just became carbon... some worse still disappeared... Yet these are the stories which made us blessed, which teaches us the value of life... Appreciate what is around us, cherish what we have... while we are striving for excellence, lets never forget people ard us... not just the people, but also the beautiful scenes and creatures... all made perfect and beautiful... none of us knows what future holds for us... but one thing for sure, i know its laid and perfectly planned well... it had been and it will continue to be... haha funny to put it here, but well...
60 years since WWII..
somethings will never be forgottened...
but there will always be forgiveness as long as the confession and repentance is true...
Remembering On|8/16/2005 03:25:00 PM|
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Alrite i m back again for a short msg...
Well well.. 32 days to prelims... seriously speaking, i am actually pretty stress right now, cause i felt i am not really that prepared for A's... far from prepared... but well somehow or rather i must make it through... For the past 17 academic years.... this is one of the toughest and the most tedious one... never before am i so stressed about an exam... in the past i can still afford to dont care... now.... absolutely not... if i do.. i m dead... but its all worth it... pull it through and thats it... i will never have to touch another A' levels... many a times i really wish to juz spend time with my dear friends... sigh but .... but.... in fact work has dulled me alot... haha though i nv was very bubbly.. but i am not that dead either...ahaha anyone who knows me would know that i am quite a crapper too haha... bloody noisy creature haha... though my jokes pretty hmmm intellectual as some would say, but i am sure you all can get what i mean...
suddenly reminded of something... National Day.. guess i too have always took our country for grant... till recent months when i started to learn more about our country, our history and all... well... gosh nv have i been so proud of my city state... really from some jungle till who we are today... gosh, not easy... many may dislike or even hate PAP, but well, one thing cant be denied... whether they are good or not, their founders together with the previous generations had worked well together and built this nation we know today... Dont understand what i mean, go pick up some books that compare us from past till present... words are good, but go find those with only photographs... you will get what i mean... Coupled up with the theme this year "Future is Ours to make" wow..... it really mean a lot... i really like the theme... seriously, the past generation had did well, now its our turn... the future indeed is ours to make, if we dont, who will??
seeing the F16 flying through the sky... An immersed feeling juz ran on the inside of me... it didnt went through, it juz ran around the inside of me.... the sky... its still as beautiful, as precious... indeed may never get to see the beautiful sky in the cockpit... but its alrite... everyone has a purpose, a destiny that we must fulfill... i have mine too... and i have to get to it... i may not know what is it now, maybe a diplomat, maybe a doctor, maybe a politician, maybe a researcher, or who knows ahha some entrepreneur, CEO of some large firm... theres a possibility to all things... but i will soon know exactly what...
what about relationship?? haha i believe this is one that many would be asking haha... of coz i do have someone i like, but may i say that i have no intention to go for her... let it be... i m more focus on building my friendship and my relationship with my siblings... though i know one day all my bro and sis would have gf/bf and soon they will 'leave' me haha, but its alrite... its only norm that they do so... they would have a family on their own to take care, and all my blessings to them... i wouldnt becoz they 'left' me and not love them... i will still love them... for myself, if that day shld come, it will.. but whether i do or not... OI BROS AND SIS.... MAKE SURE U LEAVE A SEAT FOR ME IN UR WEDDING DINNERS... DONT YOU DARE LEAVE ME OUT... hahaha... yes, i would be equally glad hearing theirs... haha i know thomas must be there saying, harlow!! you are only how old??? haha well, not young not old... just the nice and right age... somethings are not exactly up to our control, is it? of coz who dont want a family??? who dont wish to be with their special one?? yet at times, life juz dont permits it... haha let nature take its course...
A tough age, an emotional ride, painful sacrifaces, difficult decisions, tiring walk...
But i know, on every step, i m not alone...
Will, Courage, Choice, the formula to finish this march...
Remembering On|8/10/2005 08:11:00 PM|
Friday, July 29, 2005
Hmm... When was the last time i blogged?? Hmmm i have no idea, but it doesnt matter, i think...
Well, lets backtrack a little...
After St John's... That week after St john's trip was a pretty hectic one... Lots of clearing up to do, closing accounts, and preparing for handing over... For that whole week, i didnt exactly did much of my schoolwork... The amazing thing is, right now i can't exactly remember what have i been doing in that 1 week haha... i really cant remember, i can just recall me running here and there getting this zap, that signed, those printed, rehearsals and can't remember what else...
Oh and on 5th July, it was Gaby's birthday... quite poor thing actually haha... his birthday falls on the day we had rehearsal... end up got to go home pretty late that night... but at least it was not an exam day haha...
Finally, Investiture.... Can i say that i was very glad that it was investiture?? hahaha i think if nazerah sees this, she's going to be so fuming mad with me.... hahaha... but well yes, actually i was very happy and excited about investiture... FINALLY!!!! 1 YEAR!!!
The night before investiture, some of us 24th SC councillors stayed till pretty late in rft(our sc rm)... after all, this could be our very last time in there... we had our last dinner haha though you can consider it supper after all we ate at like erm 10 pm?? then we chatted, we hang around and we even went to explore the night scenery of roof top... i can still remember vividly the few of us climbing out of the window into the porch and from there somehow smuggle into the rooftop haha.. Oh and Apple got stuck at the window hahaha.. end up he cant come out to join us, so we decided to go back... then well everyone continue to chat and hang around... we literally were there to just enjoy the room and everyone's company for as long as we can, cause after it... who knows when we will really meet up again.... but well soon after i took my leave... i decided to go home and prepare for the big day... The day of retirement....
Seriously speaking, it was pretty fast, within just hours i found myself in my blazer again and off to college again... My final day in blazer... i most probably wont be wearing this anymore... Quite sickening, we got to be in school by 6am.... i hadnt even got a decent power nap... haha...
Then... the whole 24th council were summoned to the LT5... we went there... the place was fairly lit... then we walked on... and we saw booklets on the chair... and one of the J1s ushered us to our seats... we took a seat... then Leow came in... and someone was playing the piano... gosh the whole atmosphere was so romantic haha... then Leow just said, "Councillors, may i have the honour to for once put on the blazers for you??? " Of course we said yes, who would say no right... well if you think that only when some superstars march in will see pple crying and 'fainting' for them... nah... as Leow went from one seat to another, he put on for us our blazers, one by one, individually... many started tearing and crying, rather wailing...
Well the day went pretty smooth... then finally 1100 approaching... left for preparation for the investiture in the afternoon... before i left the class, Mr Azmi gave me and of course the other councillors whom he taught chocolates.... Gosh, so touched hahaha... so sweet hahaha... and most importantly its??? CHOCOLATES!!!!! Went to LT5, Hmmm.... then something i saw really disappointed me greatly... for every guests to our investiture, they were given a bottle of water and the investiture booklet... these 2 items were placed on the chair... but it was so messy... the whole place was so... argh... though its not my investiture, but i just couldnt stand it, so went to adjust all the bottles and booklets... i took up a booklet and read it... alright, kind of regret reading... if i havent, then i wouldnt have seen the mistakes and less disappointment... Why am i disappointed?? Well perhaps cause i have quite a high hope on my juniors, thats why i would never expect such things from them...
Anyway, the big day is here... There goes the Explosive, the 24th glided to our positions and with Exodus, we once again, as we did before a year ago, step up onto the stage... But this time its different, this time, we are the ones preparing to take off our badge... First certificates, then a speech by Leow... In his speech, everyone was still pretty composed, till... "Councillors, please rise... Councillors, please remove your badge..." immediately tears from many... with the closing of the curtains, wailings... it was so loud, i think the first row audience could hear it...
Well, through the whole thing, well many pple cried, even in my general exco, 3 cried, cept me... i have a feeling i am the only one who didnt cry throughout the whole investiture... from preparation till stepped down.. i dont know what to cry about... perhaps cause i wasnt very attached in the first place?? while some couldnt bear to leave the room, i seemed to walk out easily.... i seldom enter the room in the first place...
However, for all these while, i always say, nah i will miss nothing of council... Hmmm... alright not exactly nothing... i really miss dawn, andre, yihao... gabriel, well yes, but i still get to see him pretty often haha though along the corridor only... but for the other 3... gosh, they seem to have vanished from this earth... I have no idea where have they gone.... where are you guys??? Dre??? Dawn?? if you dont know... i miss u guys alot!!! haha... i think the only thing i really miss is the bond i have with the few i am closer to... the rest, well... yes starting perhaps abit i gues... but life's seems to be the same again... while some struggling to live as a 'civilian', i seemed to adapt like nobody business, i guess cause, i have always been among the crowd... its just going back to the crowd... whats the diff?? i dont show my face like apple or naz, or even yihao... i simply live my simple life... simple but not a low life though.... i got back to the momentum easily...
Weeks have passed...everything is back to normal, it had gone back to norm long time ago, but then haha lets just say now, its official... Now i take on a new role, ahhaa Minister of Mugger Affairs... influencing others to be muggers like me, and keep that momentum all the way till A's...
2 things really bothers me now.... Mine and my dear one's academic and my rib... Well, its 47day to Prelims, and i have to dump my COO and get a BBC... is it achievable??? Yes... Nothing can hold me back... I want i can... If i ignore everyone around me, no prob... but the problem is... i have a problem with that... i cant see myself ignoring everyone around me, letting them suffer, die on their own, while i get my As... i decided, just get my Bs and Cs for Prelims and strike harder for A's... If you ever consider "terrorism affects everyone" as a cliche, as a propaganda... i tell you no... its a vvvvvvv true fact... Where is Cambridge??? Britain, to be specific, i think its in London right??? correct me if i am wrong, i am not very sure... but, London or not, Harlow??!!! DANGER ZONE!!! What if the marker is somewhere near the bomb site and BOOM!!! there goes the paper.... where do we get my grades??? PRELIMS!!! i mean Touch Wood, dont ever let it happen... but theres such a possibility... so the best thing to do now is, find Al Qaeda and negotiate that no bombings till after March next year.. hahah let me get my A's level results first... haha... imagine if they bomb our test papers... gosh... how many JC students are going to support Bush and our government... haha all are going to be anti terrorists... alright not giving any ideas.. but well hahaa...
Next Rib.. some may understand what i mean immediately by the word 'rib'... Eve came from Adam's rib... got the hint??? Well... Sigh... quite sad.. i miss someone... miss her voice... miss the sight of her... and the best of all, i doubt she even knows it... Will we ever be together??? Erm lets build the friendship first before even talking about the other things hahaha... I dont think we even know each other more to say together??? Sometimes Affairs of the heart are so hard to comprehend... But A's first i guess... But hope i get to meet my rib soon... And though i do not know who is my rib, but hopefully she could be... hahaha....
alright thats all for now....
Remembering On|7/29/2005 12:38:00 AM|
Friday, July 01, 2005
The Sight of You is like seeing the borders of the Galaxy...
As some of you know, i am quite an inspirational person... Not saying that i inspire others, but as in i am a person who works by inspirations... and well that phrase just came to my mind...
...The Sight of You is like seeing the borders of the Galaxy...
To some, its so sweet... To some, its uncomprehensible... But i shall decode it... well, when it first came to my mind, it has 2 meanings, and both describe my emotions and my perceptions...
As we all know the Galaxy is vast and borderless... Seeing the borders in this context likewise meant the expanse of the Galaxy... so big, so infinite that no one can embrace...
So, what do i truly mean in that phrase??? Alrite it has something to do with that special 'You' ... I miss her... Hope i get to see her, yet she is so far away... I didnt even get to hear her voice... Right now, the sight of her, the smell of her, the touch of hers are all so great... so great its like infinity... yet just like the borders of the Galaxy... so wide, its beyond reach... I may miss her, i may like her, yet it seems near impossible that i would ever be with her... Pessimistic some would say, but so is it realistic... Am i losing hope too early??? perhaps... but in the first place how much hope is there???
Remembering On|7/01/2005 12:02:00 AM|
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